'Tis The Season!

Finding support over Christmas

Let’s be honest, Christmas isn’t for everyone, and sometimes the pressure to comply with unfettered joy can just feel a bit much and finding some support might be your best bet this year.

Far from feeling like this:

Christmas can sometimes (or often for some of us) feel like this:

Feeling flat this Christmas?

I don’t know about you, but I have noticed a remarkable decline in Christmas paraphernalia this year as I get about town. On streets where the signs of Christmas usually start to twinkle at the beginning of December, I see very few lights or decorations. Even the local shopping centres seem to have opted for a minimalist approach this year.

Are we too tired? Too financially stressed to put much, if any, effort in this year? As financial stress tightens and wars rage, that one time of year which typically represents hope and good will seems to have run out of steam.

These ponderings reflect as much about me as it does about anyone else. Christmas has changed for me over the decades. As a youngster, Christmas was joyous. Later, it became an opportunity to recreate the magic for the next generation of kids in my family. More recently, it has become a time of reflection. Some of those aforementioned kids have now started families of their own, which lands me one too many steps away from being relevant in that context. For a while, I was one of the lucky ones with food on the table, a loving family and plenty of gifts to enjoy. The trappings of privilege were, and are, evident, but Christmastime is not necessarily a time of joy for everyone. So is Christmas a season you enjoy or endure? Do you need to find a way to take the foot off the yuletide pedal a little bit this year?

Coping with loss over Christmas

If you’ve lost someone dear in the last twelve months, Christmas might feel like just another link in a chain of events that mark the first time without that person around. In other ways, that one day of the year can exert undue pressure to conform and partake in activities we really don’t feel connected to. Maybe the season has become a reminder that life has changed immeasurably from an era fondly remembered, never to return.

Christmas drinks, anyone? How’s that family barbeque coming along? Maybe the thought of spending time with family members who are unkind makes your stress levels rise, but you still feel compelled to be there because of tradition. Several hours of emotional discomfort might seem more palatable than the inevitable and uncomfortable conversation about why you would actually like to say “no thanks” this year, and how about those retail pressures that feel like a bridge too far in extremely tough economic times when even the most basic of needs, stable and affordable accommodation, is getting hard to come by?

Compassion at Christmas

I don’t want to come across as Gloomy Gus in the corner over here. After all, I started by lamenting how there isn’t as much “pretty” to be had this year, but sometimes even the “pretty” can induce feelings of sadness or stress, and before the “anti-woke brigade” starts revving their engines, I’m not here to debate whether we should or should not “do Christmas”. It’s a cultural event I enjoy in my own way, as do a significant number of people I know, but telling someone just to suck it up because they’re meant to be happy at Christmastime or falsely claiming they’re trying to cancel Christmas kind of flies in the face of the goodwill the season is meant to promote. Live and let live, some might say.

Finding support at Christmas time

If you do find Christmas particularly tough, remember there is help available. Whether you need to talk about something that’s been on your mind for a while or need to find a way to regulate your emotions throughout the season, connecting with therapy might be just the gift you need to give yourself this year.

If things are particularly difficult and you need immediate mental health support, Lifeline provides a free and confidential service by phone or online. Kids Helpline is also available for people aged 5 to 25 years.

However things are for you this Christmas, be safe and be well.